Why Do We Sometimes Walk in Circles?


You see it all the time in the lives of those around you.

They appear to be stuck in a circular walk with some problem showing up for them again and again, over and over with only slight variations.

But it is really, the same issue in a reoccurring pattern.

Think of it like a video game with levels. There is no going to Level 3 without first conquering Level 2. If you fail at Level 2 in any part, you get sent back to the beginning.

Now some people get really pissed off, shake their fist at God and play the victim . But the truth is, there is some part of Level 2 that has them flummoxed and it is time to look within at what needs to change inside their own thought processes in order to overcome this issue.

So what does that look like in the real world?

It truly doesn’t matter what the subject of your circle pattern is. It could be that you never have enough money or are seemingly unable to find a “good” romantic partner. Maybe you are constantly dissatisfied with your job, your coworkers or your bosses.

A circle pattern will show up again and again regardless of income changes, new boyfriends, shifting jobs or geographic moves. Because the cause isn’t external. The common thread in all of this is YOU!

Circle patterns are really just spiritual prodding asking you to evolve and get rid of thoughts, belief systems and behaviors that are not serving your best interest and which are blocking you progressing to the next level. Frustration and anger are at the very end of the cycle. So taking time now to do an assessment can prevent you from taking yet another lap.

So how do you break the Cycle?

First things first, there is no one to blame! This isn’t some vile, horrid thing that needs to have you spending $1000 on self analysis and therapy. This is a gift! This is the Universe pointing out that you are stuck and giving you opportunities over and over to fix it. The Universe is rooting for you and wants you to make it to the next level!

So first, recognize it is “your” pattern. It doesn’t matter if someone else’s behavior started you on this walk, the fact that you have continued to walk the circle over and over is now about you, your thoughts, your beliefs, your perceptions.

Let’s walk through an example:

Our friend Nancy is on a serial dating merry go round. She finds a guy, begins to date, inevitably finds he has bad qualities like lying, cheating or dishonorable actions, dumps him after a big dramatic blow out and then sulks until ready to start the cycle again.

In this case the Circle pattern can be labelled “Men are pond scum”.¬† Is this true?¬† Certainly not! But to Nancy, it has been part of her life experience for so long, and she spends so much thought and time talking this “truth” to the universe that it has become a deeply ingrained request for more of the same. So nothing but dishonorable men now appear in Nancy’s world.

Now let’s talk about breaking this.

Nancy sits down one day and decides she is sick and tired of the circle pattern and ready to put forth effort to achieve new results.

She writes down a list of qualities of the type of man she wants to meet and date and lists what she wants out of a romantic relationship.

“The Guy’s” Qualities:
* He will be honest, genuine, caring and honorable.
* He is someone I admire and respect.
* He is also wanting a long term committed partner.

Our Relationship:
* We are each other’s confidants and can tell each other anything without drama or judgement.
* We help each other be our best selves
* We provide each other companionship and emotional support.

Good Start!

Nancy begins reviewing this list every day saying it aloud to the Universe over her morning coffee. “I have an amazing relationship with an honorable man based on mutual affection, goals, and rich in joyful moments – I have found an amazing man to date.”

Now comes the real challenge!

Every time Nancy begins to think or say some negative statement about men and all their failings, she has to STOP and overwrite it with her new positive statement.

No more whining and getting into complaining conversations with other women. No more watching movies with an inner dialogue about how the bastard in the story is a real representation of life. None of that!

There are amazing, powerful, honorable, loving men everywhere and you want to meet one. So stop calling the other type into your world.

Ever time you have a negative thought about men, finish it with, “But that’s okay because, I don’t attract that kind of man anymore.” I attract (insert your list and statement of a perfect relationship).

So what is next?

Nancy begins to notice that the quality of man in her life is really changing. Great guys are starting to be attracted to her but something seems amiss. They come, but don’t stay.

Phase II – Be the person that great guys want to be around.

Okay – so you have now got the old pattern out of your head. You are out of the circle pattern but you are still shy of the goal you wrote down for yourself. You aren’t yet in the great relationship you want. What’s wrong?

You, my dear have just reached Level 3 of the Video Game. Time to realize you have just had a breakthrough. The right guys are coming into your life. But you have been spending time with Level 2 men and you have probably been able to get away with being a little lax in bringing your “A” game.

So, be sure to pat yourself on the back for breaking the cycle, now go find that bright shiny positively minded woman you used to be before you got jaded and bring her back to the surface.

Get to the gym, invite your girlfriends over for dinner, go to the theater, take an art class, visit Greece. Whatever you need to do to bring that inner joy out of it’s dusty old closet and back into your face.

After all, Level 3 has a ton of upgraded looks, costumes, hairstyles, weaponry and armor. Find your new self and enjoy the change. You’ve earned it!

And keep saying those positive statements because now that you have called your Level 3 life into being and found your new “better fitting” costume, it’s going to be fun learning to play at the new level.